Do you know what TMI means?

Of course you do. Even I know what it means, and I’m no expert on cyber chat. I admit to using LOL every now and then, but I don’t go far beyond it. It’s just so much easier to type LOL than it is to spell out laughter. The whole texting thing is not for me, though. I have it blocked on my phone.

 

Madness! I know!

 

Someday I will get bit by the texting bug and come back in here and read this and say, “Oh Rachel, what a fool you were.”

But until then, don’t text me. I won’t get it. And your phone probably won’t tell you that I didn’t get it, and you’ll say, “What’s wrong with that psycho? She never answers my texts!”

Anyway, that has nothing to do with what I’m trying to post about. Back on track now.

 

TMI is usually said when someone describes too clearly something nasty, like that thing they found on the bathroom floor the other day. Or maybe they tell in too much detail how their last doctor visit went. In my case today, however, it simply means the sheer volume of conflicting information that was thrown at me when I innocently Googled “weight loss muscle gain.”

Well, I wanted to know why I was feeling and looking better and fitting into more of my clothes when the scales were telling me I had hardly lost any weight. I wanted to know if I could be building muscle and burning fat at the same time and somehow nullifying my actual weight loss. I had no idea the mess of arguments I would find. One guy says you can’t do both at once and another says that it’s the only way either one can happen—in harmony. Argh!!!

Now I don’t know if I should be spending more time on cardio or more time on weights or equal time on both! And to be honest, I doubt I’d be able to up my cardio anyway if that’s the way I should go. On the bike or on the treadmill, I get bored. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m just not getting anywhere. I’ve started taking books with me to read on the bike, but I don’t think I should try that on the treadmill. If I let myself get too distracted up there I might end up body surfing backward, and we don’t want that, do we?

This must be why people hire personal trainers. You can Google this issue all you want, and all you’re going to get is confused. TMI.

 

By the way, I wrote this little poem today, and for some reason I feel silly enough to share it right now. I am by no means a poet, but it made me laugh. I promise that no bathroom scales were harmed in the making of this poem.

 

 

We fought today,

That liar and I,

And he didn’t care

That he made me cry.

 

I stomped on his face,

But he only fibbed more,

So I left him alone

On the cold bathroom floor.

 

I try to forget him

As I do my work.

But his lies fill my head,

The arrogant jerk!

 

Maybe I ate

More cheese than I should

And maybe my workout

Wasn’t really that good.

 

But I do not think

That I’ve gained a POUND!

So say what you will,

I am standing my ground.

 

I head for the bathroom

To give him what for.

I glare down at him

Lying still on the floor.

 

“I’m warning you now,”

I say with a grin,

“If you say one-oh-nine,

I will stomp you again!”

 

 

 

 

 

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~ by Rachel McMahon on January 13, 2011.

2 Responses to “Do you know what TMI means?”

  1. I’m in the same boat: no apparent weight loss, but my clothes fit better (some are even too big now). Trying to understand how my body works was too difficult (like math), so I just gave up (also like math). Good luck trying to understand it. If you figure this one out, let me know.

  2. Well, I’ve been told to stop weighing myself and trust how I’m feeling, and I think it’s good advice. There’s nothing like the high after a good workout, and I hate to ruin it by focusing on something negative that may or may not indicate success.

    You don’t like math? I know I’m weird, but I love it.

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