One of Those Days

I think that maybe my number was up today, and I just didn’t get the memo. I was headed to Walmart to pick up some packing tape so that I could mail out some baby announcements before the nasty weather hits. Who could have guessed that the roads would be more dangerous today than tomorrow?

I turned onto the back road that I like to take to Walmart in order to avoid the mess of Highway 80. There are houses there where the families grow produce, which I’ve bought in the past. In front of me, with no warning at all, a truck pulling a flat bed trailer ground to a halt in front of one house. In the driveway of that house was another truck, which seemed to be trying to leave. I managed to stop about an inch from the trailer. In the meantime, the truck in the driveway tried to pull out.

“Oh,” I thought. “They both live there, and this jerk in front of me is forcing me to let them out.” How wrong I was.

The truck tries to pull out, and the trailer pulling truck shoots forward just in time to block the attempt. I’m puzzled now and a little bit angry. I really need to get to Walmart. Suddenly, the truck in the driveway flies backward and with its wheels spinning wildly through the gravel, it takes off behind me. The truck in front of me then begins to move backward toward me, and I have nowhere to go. I lay on the horn and shout something that I can’t recall. Once again, I’m an inch from collision, and now I’m well past a little bit angry. The guy with the trailer cuts off the oncoming traffic and does a U-turn that takes him into the fields off the road. As if it will help, he looks at me and frantically points toward the other truck, which has just nearly taken out the stop sign behind me. He mouths something, and since I’m not a lip reader, I guess I’ll never know what it was. Then he takes off after the other guy and also nearly takes out the stop sign.

I don’t know who was the good guy and who was the bad guy, but I know that I nearly got crushed between them. A little bit shaky, I head for Walmart. If only the rest of my trip could have been safer.

As I turn left onto the road that will take me into town, the van in front of me jumps into reverse and comes backward toward me and the truck behind me in a 55 mph lane. I’ve just pulled out, so I can stop, but the other truck was already there and going at least the speed limit. He has no choice but to fly around the guy, and he narrowly misses the car coming the opposite direction. Guess what the van does. Yes,  it moves faster in my direction. Once again, I lay on the horn and shout something. My heart has had about all it can take now. But I press on, and somehow I make it to Walmart alive!

In the parking lot, the young man who gathers carts pushes them in front of my car just before I pull into my parking space. I swear I’m starting to think there’s a plot to kill me. I get out and toss him a forgiving smile before heading toward the store. The lady in the car across from me tries to pull forward through the parking spaces and nearly hits me. I dodge and go the long way around, and for some reason, she then decides to back out instead. I consider just letting her hit me. I mean, someone is trying to tell me something! She at least has the decency to mouth “sorry” very clearly from inside her car. The man who rushes around the corner of the van at the front of the store carrying a huge bag of dog food never even notices that he nearly plowed into me. Who walks with something in front of his face? Really?

Once I’m inside I’m ready to scream “I just want to buy some tape!!! Please don’t kill me!!!”

I wasn’t at all surprised when the woman in the furniture aisle nearly knocked a bookshelf over on me. Of course that would happen!

Safely out of Walmart, I head for the post office. When I notice that the car in front of me has a nearly flat tire, I assume it will blow. Amazingly, it doesn’t.

So somehow, I have outrun whatever force was out to slay me today. The guy in front of me at the post office even let me go ahead of him, and I got to the school in time to park in my usual spot and wait for Gabe.

Just so you know, there’s no way I’m driving on the ice tomorrow!

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~ by Rachel McMahon on January 31, 2011.

2 Responses to “One of Those Days”

  1. Geeze, I’d had that weather brings out the worst drivers, but that’s a bit much. Glad to see you survived so many attempted assassinations.

  2. The bad weather hadn’t even hit yet! Thanks, Snarky!

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